blog musings

So I've been reflecting on whether I should further extend my hiatus from the blog-o-sphere which has been steadily occurring over the past few months or if I should try to get back into sharing my heart, thoughts and convictions with renewed vigor. The problem I continue to face in consistently writing on here boils down to a greater struggle that currently encompasses most areas of my life- living with holy passion that moves me to action. I initially started blogging to share my life with friends and family while I was abroad in Australia but then picked it up again as a form of recording and sharing what the Lord has been teaching me. It began to serve as a tool to post theological resources or posts that I've come across in my reading, to meditate on scripture and life applications of scripture and to hopefully encourage others to grow and deepen their knowledge and intimacy with Christ. Additionally, it has been a helpful source of personal narrative for me to look back on and recall what the Lord has done in my heart and life at certain points. Blogging has definitely been a beneficial practice for me and besides all that, I enjoy writing and sharing!

As I stated above, my current inconsistency has a lot to do with my lack of zeal in life over the past few months. It's been a struggle to remain in the Word and prayer everyday and to choose to do these things out of obedience alone when I am not emotionally desiring to do them. I know this is the greatest obstacle to my spiritual growth and zeal right now and it needs to be submitted under the authority of the Lord. I've been seeing more and more how rebellious my heart is- marriage can display that pretty quickly! All in all, regardless of my circumstantial struggles with questioning my career path, time consuming work/studies and learning what life looks like post-college and newly married, my source has to be Christ and I know this. Our pastor gave a good illustration at church last week. He asked who of us believes that we need to exercise and eat right in order to be healthy. Most everyone put up their hands. Then he asked us who really does these things- many hands dropped. He maintained that if we say we believe something but we don't actually follow through on that belief by action, then we don't really believe it. In the context of what it looks like to follow Christ, I know that I must seek Him and find Him through prayer and reading the Word. And to neglect these things is to believe that I really don't need them in order to live my life. The state of my heart and lack of zeal for the Lord I am currently battling is direct evidence that I need these things in my life everyday. And not in a legalistic, salvation-earning type of way, but in the way that shows that I believe what the Bible tells me and it moves me to live according to it, regardless of my feelings and comfort.

This is a long way of saying that its time for Jody to get back into the game, to live out my convictions, to follow the Lord by simply seeking Him, to look to Christ for a renewed mind, heart and spirit. He promises that if we seek Him we will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13) and that He has the power to restore to us the joy of our salvation and grant a willing spirit within us (Psalm 52).

As for blogging, I'm hoping to pick it up again as I pursue the disciplines of following Christ and find greater inspiration than I can muster up in and of myself. We'll see how quickly that will happen but for now, returning to the joy that I once found in Christ is the thing of most importance.